what keeps me going?
Well, as most of you know, Lisa and I hung out this weekend. Overall, I’d say it wasn’t a great weekend, but it could have been worse. I did have a really long entry outlining everything that went on that were bad, but that was so negative I couldn’t post it. It made it seem the weekend was wretched and that Lisa hates me. So, this is the updated, short, more upbeat, more positive version.
My main problem with the weekend is that I felt she didn’t want to be around me, or desire to have fun with me. I was trying to be upbeat and excited, but that didn’t seem to help her. I don’t know what else I can try, but I’m trying to be who I am and be happy when I’m around her.
My friends have been very supportive throughout the time I’ve been dating Lisa. They tell me to just be myself, that all she wants is to have fun with me and have me enjoy myself when I’m with her. I tried very hard to do that this weekend, but it’s even harder to do it when the person your trying to enjoy being around doesn’t seem like she wants to be around you.
Hmmm…the good point about this weekend I guess is that I did have a nice afternoon/evening with Lisa on Sunday. We went to see a movie (Troy), and got to mess around a bit in bed :-) However, the only reason we messed around was because I initiated it both times, and she still didn’t really want to. After being away for over a month, you would think she’d be attacking me to get some. We cooked a good dinner, watched some Pistons - Lakers (go pistons!), and went to bed.
Overall, as I said above, the weekend was not great, but not horrible. However, it’s very hard for me to be excited about Lisa when I feel she isn’t excited about me at all, and could care less if I’m in her life. I don’t know how to fix it, or if it can be fixed. I’m just going to be myself, be excited about her and our relationship, and hope that she can do the same.
